So You Want to Get Married

The following was given by Ryan Whitley, Pastor in Trussville, AL this week. Good advice.

You’ve purchased your rings. Your date has been set. Your pastor has agreed to conduct your ceremony. And your invitations are in the mail.

Here are ten things you DON’T want to do in your marriage.

#1 Don’t quit.

Marriage is tough. To make your marriage work, you must be tenacious. Couples quit too soon or too often. Hang in there. Stick it out. Don’t ever give up.

#2 Don’t go to bed angry.

Your bed is not the place to argue, and neither is it the place to hold hurt feelings. Work it out. Talk it over. Settle the issue before going to bed.

#3 Don’t nag.

A sure way to ruin your marriage is to point out everything your spouse does wrong. Nag, nag, nag and you will kill, kill, kill your marriage.

#4 Don’t whine or complain.

Life is tough. Marriage demands effort. Don’t complicate matters by whining or complaining about every little thing.

#5 Don’t quit dating.

If you really want your marriage to thrive, keep dating. Plan a date night every week. Keep chasing one another just like you did before you were married.

#6 Don’t keep score.

The point system may work in athletic completion, but it stinks in a marriage. Don’t keep a tally of your spouse’s rights or wrongs.

#7 Don’t spend more than you make.

Don’t fall for the fallacy that says you deserve the best just because you are married. Save your money. Stay out of debt. Be generous. Live within your means.

#8 Don’t compare.

Don’t compare your spouse to someone else. Don’t compare your marriage to someone else’s marriage. And please don’t compare your spouse to their parents. If you want a healthy marriage, don’t compare.

#9 Don’t leave.

Leaving, moving out, or separating accomplishes nothing more than a deeper divide. Stay home and work out your problems.

#10 Don’t get lazy.

Find a way to keep serving one another. Discover ways to help one another. In a marriage it takes teamwork to make the marriage work.

Sermon Notes from Sunday, January 23, 2011

This past Sunday was the last sermon in the series "Three Cords of a Disciple." This message "The Benefits of Fasting" from Isaiah 58 may be seen by clicking here.

The Gospel is Spreading in Iran

by Josh Harris

6 people liked this

This sounds odd, but God used migraine headaches to give me a heart for the people of Iran. It's a long story, I explain it in the last 10 minutes or so of this sermon.

The other day I had the privilege of being on a conference call with a man who has pioneered church planting and evangelism all over Iran (learn more about this work here). He encouraged me and the other people on the call to help spread this information about what God is doing in Iran. (I'm indebted to my friend John who took the following notes from the conference call).

Since Christmas, the government of Iran has been cracking down on evangelical Christians, most of whom are involved in "underground" or house churches. The authorities have attacked and plundered Christians' homes in over 17 cities. He told the story of one man who was recently dropping his daughter off at school, when the authorities showed up at his house and had a message sent to him, ordering him to come home immediately. He didn't run away but instead dialed another believer, expressed his trust in God and willingness to suffer for Christ. He then went home to be arrested.

The governor of Tehran province has recently compared evangelical evangelists to the Taliban, expressing a perspective of their gospel work as a cultural invasion and a threat to Islamic society in Iran. In the past, the government has hesitated to acknowledge the underground spread of Christianity throughout the nation, and someone even declared publicly that he hadn't seen one person convert from Islam by reading the Bible, (although we know that tens of thousands of Iranians have done just that). And yet now, for the first time, the government has openly declared that they have arrested Christians and acknowledged that there is in fact a large contingent of them throughout the nation. A recent news piece declared that officials had discovered 200 house churches in one of Iran's holiest Islamic cities. Such an acknowledgment indicates that the government realizes that the church is taking root in what they are seeking to preserve as an Islamic country, and is growing at an alarming rate.

Many Christian leaders in Iran would estimate that there have been 1 million Christian converts in Iran in the last 31 years, the majority of whom have been converts from Islam. This fact - that muslims are moving towards Jesus and his gospel and away from Islam - is widely hidden in the media, and largely unknown by those in other Islamic countries. But our brother on the conference call emphasized strongly to us that the Muslim world needs to hear this fact!

We can pray that this suffering results in more opportunities for these brothers and sisters to bear witness to the truth. We know from Scripture, and in particular the book of Acts, that it is in the times of intense persecution that God often grows his church and shows his unstoppable power. It is often in the scattering of believers that the seed is sown into unreached territory. The believers in the house church movement in Iran have been expecting this persecution and, in many respects, have been prepared for it.

Let's lift them up to our Heavenly Father, remembering also what the king of Persia (Iran) declared after God showed his power by rescuing Daniel from the lion's den:

Then King Darius wrote to all the peoples, nations, and languages that dwell in all the earth: "Peace be multiplied to you.

I make a decree, that in all my royal dominion people are to tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, for he is the living God, enduring forever; his kingdom shall never be destroyed, and his dominion shall be to the end.

He delivers and rescues; he works signs and wonders in heaven and on earth, he who has saved Daniel from the power of the lions" (Daniel 6:25-27).

Please join me in praying for Iran!

For more information on how to pray visit IRAN30.org and order their prayer guide for Iran. Also an excellent, simple introduction to the recent history of Iran and the spread of the gospel there is Iran: Open Hearts in a Closed Land by Mark Bradley.

Some helpful insights from James Emery White

Vol. 6, No. 25

Ten Things People Would Tell Us If We’d Listen

1. I do not consider myself (nor do I feel like I am) a “pagan.” I mean, really? A pagan? Not sure I like “unchurched” or “irreligious” either, though it’s a step up. Ideally, how about John, or Mark, or Sandra? In other words, my name.

2. I honestly don’t mind it when you invite me to your church, or talk to me about God. Just keep it, I don’t know, natural. Like when we talk about sports or movies. I hate feeling like a project. Let’s keep it a conversation between friends, and as friends. I could see doing that.

3. Please don’t be threatened by my questions. They really are my questions, and I’ve had them for a long time. I would hope that if Christianity is true, it would stand up under any amount of intellectual scrutiny. Anyway, I would feel a lot better if you were less threatened when I raise them. I’m not trying to be a jerk by raising them, I’m just trying to sort it all out. And that means asking you about all kinds of things. I know sometimes it seems combative, or aggressive, but God questions aren’t exactly tame – much less safe. And for me, the answers are everything.

4. Don’t forget that a lot of my junk is emotional, not just intellectual. And it took a lot for me to say that. I almost don’t know how to get into this, but I’ve been burned, disillusioned, hurt…you may win some of our verbal contests, but it doesn’t usually move me forward. It still leaves me feeling cold, mostly because some of the time the intellectual stuff is just a smokescreen for what I’m really battling. Here’s the last five percent: It’s not just whether I can buy into this intellectually, but whether I can buy into it relationally. In other words, are you and your community really safe?

5. I would like to belong before I believe. What I mean is that I’d like to experience this a bit before signing on. Is that legal? I hope so. I think that if I could “test the waters” a bit it would be helpful.

6. There’s a lot I don’t know, and I know it. Don’t make me feel stupid about it, like not knowing much about the Bible or Jesus or whatever. If you could start at the beginning and explain it all to me, that would be great. Like starting with Genesis and moving forward.

7. Can we agree that there’s a lot of weird stuff attached to Christianity and the Bible? Okay, it might be true, or real, or whatever, but can we just agree that some of it is a bit...bizarre? For some strange reason, it would make me feel better to hear you acknowledge how it all looks – and sounds – to someone from the outside.

8. What’s up with all the scandals? I’m sympathetic to screwing up – I do it all the time – but what makes me want to puke is how they’re screwing up while they are telling everybody they don’t, or that nobody should, or…you get my point. It just makes the whole thing seem like a joke. Just own that you have screwed up (that’d be fine with me, really, I do it all the time), or just shut up about not doing it. But this parading and posturing and then being exposed…it just turns me off. It makes me feel like the spiritual one because at least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not!

9. I like it when you help people – care for the poor, house the homeless, tend to the widow, protect the orphan, work for justice against the sex-trafficked – that gets my attention and feels authentic. It’s also convicting, because I’m not doing much in those areas. I agree with it, and write a check now and then, but I’m not on the front lines. When you are, it makes me have to listen to what you have to say, whether I like it or not.

10. I’m really open to it all. More than I let on. In fact, I want to feel good about myself spiritually. But I don’t think I could ever measure up. When I really think about God, all I feel is guilt and shame, so I stay away. It would be nice if there was something in all of this that would make me feel like I could…I don’t know….come home?

James Emery White

Editor’s Note

To enjoy a free subscription to the Church and Culture blog, log-on to www.churchandculture.org, where you can post your comments on this blog, view past blogs in our archive and view the latest church and culture news from around the world.

Enjoy God - it may mean more than you think

"I never saw the members of my father's church enjoying themselves."
- Friedrich Nietzsche, when asked why he rejected Christianity. He's the father of modern atheism who is considered by many to be the greatest philosopher of all time. He is the man who coined the concept of "nihilism" ... the idea that life has no real purpose, therefore, life however you want to live.

Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, January 23, 2011

On January 22, 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 7-2 in support of abortion; Roe v. Wade changed the course of American history. While some celebrate, those who cherish life, we look at that day as a tragedy, as we seek to build a culture of life.

The Alabama Baptist reported this week that “sometime in 2010 a doctor in the U.S. performed the nation’s 53 millionth legal abortion.” That is the size of a medium-sized country.

“Imagine the outcry if the people of Spain (46.1 million) were destroyed by another nation,” C. Ben Mitchell, professor of moral philosophy at Union University in Jackson, TN., said.

As believers, we must not be in a moral fog about this number one, highest ranking issue in the U.S. It is not the economy, jobs, the national debt or health care - but the multiplied million of deaths of unborn children.

Sanctity of Life Scriptures

Job 33:4 - ...the breath of the Almighty gives me life.

Psalm 119:73 - Your hands made me and formed me; ....

Genesis 1:27; Psalm 95:6; Acts 17:24-25

God Creates and Fashions Life within the Womb

Job 10:8-12 - Your hands shaped me and made me. ...You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit.

Psalm 139:13-16 - For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. God is the creator of life. God creates and fashions life within the womb.

Jeremiah 1:5 - Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.

Genesis 25:21; 29:31; Job 31:15; Isaiah 44:2, 24; 49:1-5

Since God is Life and the only source of Life; who else can give it?

The Incarnation of Jesus Begins with Conception

Luke 1:31 - You will be with child and give birth to a son, ....

Matthew 1:20 - .."Joseph ..do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Ghost."

The Unborn are Treated as Persons in the Bible

Psalm 51:5 - ..I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Luke 1:41-44 - When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed, " . . . As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy."

Psalm 139: 13-16

Conception and Children are a Gift from God

Exodus 23:25-26 - Worship the Lord your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life-span.

Psalm 127:3-5 - Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

The incarnation of Jesus begins with conception.

Genesis 25:21; 29:31; 33:5; I Samuel 1:1-20; Psalm 51:5

God Forbids the Taking of Human Life

Genesis 9:6 - Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made man.

Exodus 20:13 - You shall not murder.

Exodus 21:22-25 and remember the moral law of God does not change

We are to Defend and Protect Life

Psalm 10:17-18 - You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.

Psalm 41:1 - Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble.

Proverbs 31:8-9 - Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

God Forgives the Sin of Abortion

Roman 5:20-21 - The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 John 1:9

These Bible verses were compiled by: Christian Life Resources
2949 N. Mayfair Road, Suite 309, Milwaukee, WI 53222-4304

Sanctity of Human Life Resources

January 22, 1973 is the anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court case. I have written an article for our church that I will post tomorrow. Below are several links to some good articles concerning abortion in our nation.

Dr. Albert Mohler's blog "What About the Twins? The Deadly Logic of Abortion"

Rep. James Lankford, U.S. Congress, gave a five-minute pro-life speech on the floor of the House.

Bill to stop any federal dollars used for abortions presented this week in the House of Representatives.

unPlanned - the story of Abby Johnson, a former Director of Planned Parenthood.

Video of Abby Johnson

Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention resources

Focus on the Family resources - excellent PDF file

Other Focus on the Family resources

The foreword of R. C. Sproul's book Abortion: The Great Debate.

Randy Alcorn's GREAT blog on abortion

Randy Alcorn's plea to Pastors regarding the unborn

The Life Project

Hear the truth about abortion

God Didn't Create a Mistake - Dr. Tony Evans

What Made David Great?

by Kevin DeYoung

Everyone who knows the Bible knows that King David was a great man.

And yet everyone familiar with the Bible will also recognize that David did a lot of not-so-great things. Of course, there was the sin with Bathsheba, the murder of her husband Uriah, and the subsequent cover-up. That was not exactly delighting in the law of the Lord (Psalm 1:2). But there was also the ill-advised census motivated by David’s pride, not to mention a series of lessons in how not to manage your household well. For being a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22), David managed to follow his own heart quite a bit.

So with all these flaws, what made David great? One could easily mention David’s courage, his loyalty, his faith, his success as a leader, musician, and warrior. But he was great in other lesser-known ways as well. In particular, David was a great man because he was willing to overlook others’ sin but unwilling to overlook his own.

David was a gracious man, bearing with the failings of others, eager to give his enemies a second chance. Twice, while his friends advised him to strike down their enemy, David spared Saul’s life, (1 Samuel 24; 26). Though Saul opposed him at every turn, David did not rejoice at his death, but wept for the king and his son Jonathan (2 Sam. 1:17-27). David welcomed Abner when he defected from the phony king Ish-bosheth and mourned for him when distrusting Joab stuck him down (2 Sam. 3). David was unnecessarily kind to Mephiboseth (2 Sam. 9) and uncommonly patient with Shimei’s spiteful cursing. Later David would pardon those who rebelled against him during Absalom’s insurrection (2 Sam. 19:16-23). Time after time David showed himself to be unlike the sons of Zeruiah who lived to hold grudges and settle scores. David knew how to forgive. More than anyone prior to Jesus, David loved his enemies. Like no other Old Testament king, David was willing to welcome rebels back to the fold and overlook the sins of those who had opposed him.

But amazingly, David’s kind-hearted attitude toward his enemies did not translate into a soft attitude toward his own sins. Usually, people who are soft with others are soft with themselves, and those hardest on themselves are even harder on others. But David was different. He was gracious with others and honest with himself. I believe David’s greatness was simply this: for as much as he sinned he never failed to own up to his sin. I can’t find a single instance where David was rightly rebuked for his failings where he then failed to heed the rebuke. When Nathan confronts David for his adultery and murder, David, after he sees what Nathan is up to, quickly laments, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Sam. 12:13). When Joab sends the woman of Tekoa to change David’s mind about Absalom, he listens. When Joab rebukes David for loving his treacherous son more than his loyal servants, David does what Joab tells him to do (2 Sam. 19:1-8). Joab was often wrong in his advice to David, but when he was right David saw it and changed course. Likewise, after his foolish census, David’s heart struck him and he confessed, “I have sinned greatly in what I have done” (2 Sam. 24:10).

David knew how to forgive, and he knew how to repent too. He never blamed others for his mistakes. He did not make excuses based on family history, peer pressure, or the demands of leadership. He did not use passive language, referring to his sin as a dysfunction or a growth edge. He did not lament over his sins simply because of the negative effects they could have over his kingdom and his relationships. He saw his transgressions primarily in their vertical dimension, as an offense against almighty God (Psalm 51:4). He never ran from the light when it exposed his darkness. Instead, he squinted hard, admitted his iniquity and worked to make things right. When we consider how rare it is in our day for athletes, movie stars, and politicians to candidly and clearly take responsibility for their public sins, we should be all the more amazed that the king of Israel, arguably the most famous man in the history of God’s old covenant people, was humble enough to listen to the chastisement of those who were beneath him and change accordingly.

David was a man after God’s own heart because he hated sin but loved to forgive it. What better example of God could there be? God doesn’t just welcome his enemies in, he dies in their stead (Rom. 5:6-11). He is always eager to show mercy, always willing to give traitors a second chance. And yet, God is not soft on sin. He exposes it and calls on us to exterminate it (John 16:8-11; Col. 3:5). But of course, God, unlike David, is never guilty of his own sin. God showed his condescension not by humbling himself before a needed rebuke, but by humbling himself to take on human flesh and take up a cross (Phil. 2:5-8). David was great, but not nearly as much as great David’s greater Son.

This article also appears in the January issue of Tabletalk.

Sermon Notes from Sunday, January 16, 2011

I am nearing the end of this series "Three Cords of a Disciple." We have dealt previously with giving and praying, this month we are dealing with fasting. Our church is going through our second annual "21 Days of Fasting." The sermon this past Sunday was "The Discipline of Fasting."

January 9 I encouraged the church in the area of fasting with some practical advice. There are no notes from that.

This is the first message with notes on the topic of fasting.

Click here to get the notes.