More thoughts on marriage

After I preached the message this past Sunday on the church being the Bride of Christ, a pastor friend notified me of Pastor Johnny Hunt's message on April 15, 2012 at First Baptist Church, Woodstock, GA on "The Effects of the Gospel on Marriage"  For the next two days, I want to share insights from Pastor Hunt on the subject of marriage and the Gospel.

What God institutes, He also regulates.  Marriage was instituted by God, regulated by His Word, blessed by our Lord Jesus.

Main enemy of marriage:  sinful self-centeredness.  Marriage is designed to refine our character and "is to create a stable human community for the birth and nurture of children."

Number one factor concerning marriage - compatibility, above all meant someone who shared a "willingness to take them as they are and not change them."

Today, marriage is too idealistic, based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment.  Each wants to fulfill their own emotional, sexual and spiritual desires.

For this reason, may choose to remain single or cohabitate.  To avoid marriage simply because you don't want to lose your freedom is one of the worse things you can do to your heart.

"We look to sex and romance to give us what we used to get from faith in God."  - Ernest Becker

It is the illusion that if we find our true soul-mate, everything wrong with us will be healed;  but that makes the lover into God and no human being can live up to that.

More tomorrow.....

A committed and passionate love for the local church

This past Sunday (6-10-12) I concluded the series of messages on the church speaking of the church as the Bride of Christ.  This image has greatly impacted me, as I referred to in the closing statements of the message.

Here is just a few thoughts of the impact:

1.  We need to let the thought that "we are the bride of Christ" deeply impact us.  We have been chosen by God to be the bride for His only Son.  This is our source of confidence and self-worth;  not selfish pools filled with sin and selfishness.  He will always be faithful to us.  He will never divorce us.  He loves us unconditionally.  He sacrificially gave Himself for us and continues to do so through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

2.  We need to reflect our commitment and passionate love to our husband (Christ) that He has for us.  Just as no husband or wife should have a great commitment to any other human being than each other, so our greatest relationship value should be our Lord.

3.  We need to reflect our commitment and passionate love for the Bride, just as Christ has expressed.  Who is the Bride of Christ?  No one single person.  The Bride is plural.  The church is the Bride of Christ and I believe you can find His Bride at a local address of believers.  We are the visible Bride and Body of Christ to a watching world.  The church needs a higher priority than we currently do to His Bride and Body.  This commitment is not due to who the pastor is or is not.  This commitment is not due to whether our current local church "meets all our needs" or not (and it is never meant to do that anyway....).  Our commitment to the local church is a direct reflection of our value of being a member of the Bride of Christ.

No converted, Spirit-filled believer will habitually miss regular attendance at the local Bride shop.

I will continue tomorrow....

Sermon, June 10, 2012

Sunday, June 10 was the last sermon in the series on the church.  I preached "Who is the Church?" mainly focusing on the Church as the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:22-32).  Here are the notes.

I am out of the pulpit until July 1.

The audio of the sermon is here.

Got boys? Better read this.

Screwtape's Formula
Boys, Video Games and Porn

June 05, 2012

Written by John Stonestreet on "Breakpoint"

A generation of young men is choosing fantasy over reality. At least that’s what Dr. Philip Zimbardo of Stanford University and psychologist Nikita Duncan argue in their new book, “The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It.”

The message of the book is simple: Research is demonstrating that young men are becoming addicted to video games and online pornography on a scale unparalleled by any addiction that we’ve ever seen in history.

But unlike with drugs, alcohol or gambling, these addictions aren’t for ever-increasing quantity. Instead, they drive boys and young men to seek novelty  — the next big thrill.

According to Zimbardo and Duncan, it’s the same phenomenon observed in laboratory rats which, when given the opportunity, abandoned food in order to electrically stimulate the part of the brain responsible for pleasure. In effect, the rats gladly “short-circuit” their natural means of enjoyment to get a thrill that felt new every time.

“Young men…who play video games and use porn the most,” say the authors, “are being digitally rewired in a totally new way that demands constant stimulation.”

Not only does this kind of addiction rob guys of the time, money and health they need to do other things, but it also diminishes their ability to enjoy real life, which can never offer stimulation as frequently, easily or in as much variety. As a result, say Zimbardo and Duncan, young men addicted to digital sex and digitalsoldiering are less able or willing to participate in those acts for real.

A recent study in Psychology Today, which I talked about last year on “The Point,” reinforces this prognosis. The study found that men who regularly viewed internet pornography actually lost their ability to perform in real-life sexual relationships.

As a consequence of this over-stimulation, boys are now growing up with “new brains.” Not only are they poorly wired for traditional learning, they lack the capacity for strong romantic relationships. Why? Because they tend to be largely unable to delay gratification or set long-term goals.  They have to live for now.

And as any junkie knows, this ultimately makes us miserable. A recent study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveal that “regular porn users,” despite constant stimulation and excitement, are more likely to report depression…poor physical health,” and “isolation.” And we all probably know young men who could use a little more playtime with real people and a lot less PlayStation.

I’m reminded of a chapter from C. S. Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters,” in which the distinguished old devil, Screwtape, tells his apprentice nephew how to destroy humans with pleasure: “…we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure,” he writes, “to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula.”

But simply cursing the darkness here won’t solve anything. We need to recognize that, as Screwtape himself admits, all pleasures — even destructive ones — are originally based on God’s good design.

Young men are supposed to desire sex — within marriage. And, while all right in moderation, video games aren’t the true outlet for the male desire to be heroic and to fight for worthy causes.

We need to learn how to replace counterfeit pleasure with legitimate pleasure, encouraging young men to set aside cheap imitations and prepare themselves spiritually, morally, and emotionally to pursue the real thing.

This is a place where the church can lead culture — by leading the rescue effort for this generation of young men.

Do you have any ideas? Visit BreakPoint.org, click on this commentary, and leave a comment or a suggestion.

You Need to be Preached to Every Week

I listen to many podcasts each week and one of those is from Beeson Divinity School in Birmingham, AL.  Dr. Timothy George serves as the Dean and the host of the Podcast.

On March 6, 2012, he interviewed Father Raniero Cantalamessa.  No, I didn't listen because I could not wait to hear more about this man.  I had never heard his name.  But as Dr. George will often do, he will graciously introduce hearers to new persons in the greater community of faith.

Father Cantalamessa is the "Preacher to the Papal Household."  Yes, a Catholic priest whose responsibility each Friday morning is to preach to the Pope and his household.  As he said, the Pope believes it is very important for him to hear a message each week.  Father Cantalamessa has been doing this for over 30 years.

I got to thinking....not only does the Pope believe he needed to be preached to every week, so did Jesus (who is greater than the Pope).  "So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up.  And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day,...."  (Luke 4:16).

Are you better than Jesus or the Pope?  Can you make it with the spiritual discipline of regularly attending God's House "to be preached to?"

How to Leave a Church Properly - Part IV

This past Sunday (6-3-12) I preached "How to Leave a Church Properly."  I have been blogging all week about the message.  Here are three ways to leave properly.

1. By death

What an honor to leave by death in a church where you have been a long-term member and the church loves and respects you and will miss you.  What a legacy.

1.  By definite derisions 

•  If the church teaches wrong doctrine about some of the essentials of the Bible (Gospel, Trinity, who is Jesus, Inerrancy of the Bible) - then for the sake of your own spiritual well being and your family, then get out.  You need to speak to the spiritual leadership about these main doctrinal issues, but these are deal killers.  Other lesser doctrines are not.  You can believe differently about an issue such as the spiritual gifts, frequency of Communion, end times, and God may say to you, "Stay."  I believe that God could lead you to stay in those situations. 

1. By the leading of the Holy Spirit

We require someone to be able to say that the Holy Spirit is leading them here before they can join; why should we not expect the same from those who sense it is time to leave.  If the Holy Spirit is really leading you to another place, then why can you not speak to the Pastor or your LIFE Group sharing that information so all may rejoice with you, love on you and bless you as you go?  

It happens very seldom because most people leave churches for reasons given earlier this week.  May God forgive us and correct us. 

Final thoughts:  It may well be that God will lead His sheep to another fold, but He will do with integrity and with spiritual health.  Follow closely to our Lord so you can leave with grace, honor and right motives so  God can continue to bless your future ministry and life.

How to Leave a Church Properly - Part III

I'm blogging this week from the message I preached this past Sunday (6-3-12) on "How to leave a church properly."  Here are two ways in which one should not leave:

1. Don’t leave puffed up.

What I mean is “offended, mad, upset.”

I Cor 13:4 “love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.”

Matthew 24: 10-12 indicates in the last day “many will be offended...due to the love of many will grow cold.”

The real issue is love.  If we love one another, we’ll not become offended.  We will be patient, kind, love suffering and patiently endure one mistakes and sins.  

If you leave a church because you are offended, you will always be running.

1.  Don’t leave in a protest.

One here leaves with the idea that they are right and everybody else is totally wrong.  So they are leaving this “bad church.”

Or...they didn’t get their way and they are threatening “to take others with them.”  

I have very little patience with those who think their agenda or way is the best when no one in spiritual leadership sees it.  It is as if no one in spiritual leadership walks with God or as the wisdom of God and this person is the only one who has it right.

To some people it has never dawned on them, “I may be wrong.”

This does not mean we don’t need each other’s opinion.We are all members of one body.  You can bring what I need or the church may need.  But to never be willing to submit your views or plans to the larger body of spiritual leadership is a definite flaw of pride and arrogance.