Living Life as a Gift by Henri Nouwen

Gratitude goes beyond the ‘mine’ and ‘thine’ and claims the truth that all of life is a pure gift. In the past, I always thought of gratitude as a spontaneous response to receiving something good from someone. But as I grow in the spiritual life, I am learning that the deeper meaning of gratitude is to live life as a gift. When you wake up in the morning, realize that being alive is a gift, that seeing a friend is a gift, that hearing the rain against the window is a gift. Everything is grace. - Quote by Henri Nouwen 

Keeping Your Well Full: Pouring Out Without Running Dry by Skylar Spradlin

 I once stumbled upon an old well that was about 30 feet from an old farmhouse and 100 feet from a creek bottom. It seemed about 20 feet deep and 10 feet wide with brick walls and a brick opening. At the time, it had about two feet of crystal-clear water in the bottom, but it was also littered with old trash, dead animals, and other items that had been tossed in over the years. The water was clear, but because of the pollution, it had become contaminated.

That old well comes to mind when I think about our spiritual lives. God’s people are not hoarders of spiritual blessing—if we can pour ourselves out, we will. Paul says as much when he is summarizing his ministry to Timothy at the end of his life: “For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come (2 Tim. 4:6).” We pour ourselves out in service, teaching, care for others, good works, and in a number of other ways. Pouring ourselves out is a good, Christlike thing to do, but we must be careful lest we fail to pay attention to what pours into us and we become contaminated like that old well.

Like that old well, if we aren’t careful about what we put into our hearts and minds, we might find that our well is contaminated. Contaminated water is as useless as having no water at all. Likewise, our spiritual outpouring is useless if it is mixed with worldliness or falsehood. Thus, we must be diligent, discerning, and intentional about how we refresh ourselves when running low.

What You Are Filled with Matters

If you take the deepest well and begin to pump water out of it at the highest possible volume without ceasing, you will eventually exhaust that well’s resources. It may recover, but it will take time, and the following output levels will be much lower than they originally were. In fact, serious damage may be done, and the well may never return to what it once was. It is the same with our own spiritual output. We must pour ourselves out, but we must also fill ourselves up with what is honoring to God. If we pour ourselves out but never fill ourselves up, then severe damage can be done.

Continual ministry without refilling leads to consequences like burnout, half-hearted service, tainted care, and sin. Though called to pour ourselves out for Christ’s sake, we are not infinite creatures. We are finite, dependent creatures in need of recharging. We are reminded of our limited output every time we require sleep, water, and food; therefore, we need to be constantly recharged. So how can we be recharged?

Sources of Water for the Thirsty Soul

We can’t be filled by just anything—what you are filled by is equally important. We must be recharged by spending time with Christ. Below are three ways that we can be filled in a way that honors Christ:

1. We Must Fill Ourselves with the Word (1 Peter 2:2).

We must not wait until we have run dry before we seek to be refilled. Every day, we must continually replenish ourselves with God’s Word. We must let it encourage us, strengthen us, guide us, and mold us. Then, when we pour ourselves out in service to Christ, what will come out will be the pure water of the Word.

2. We Must Cultivate Our Relationship with Jesus Through Genuine Prayer.

Reading the Bible for the sake of intellect will not replenish a thirsty soul. However, Bible intake paired with genuine, relational prayer will fill up a parched soul with eternal springs of water (John 4:13–14). If we are walking with Jesus, the source of eternal life, we will be satisfied by his water. We must be connected to the Lord’s supply. We will be of minimal use if we are ministering from something other than a thriving relationship with Jesus.

3. We Must Be Replenished in the Context of the Local Church.

Our own personal Bible reading and prayer life can be a source of constant fruit and energy, but our efforts of walking with Jesus are incomplete apart from walking with a congregation of believers. This is by God’s design. Therefore, the local church is the final piece of the puzzle—the icing on the cake—to a full and abundant life of enjoying the treasures of Jesus and pouring them out in service to his name. Every time the church meets together, there is opportunity to be filled up, encouraged, strengthened, enabled, and sent back out to serve the mission of Christ.

Dear Christian, you are called to spend all your resources for the sake of Christ’s glory. But if you do not digest the Word of God regularly, have a vibrant walk with Christ, or be regularly filled in a local church, then your well will run dry. If your heart dries up, then bad things may happen. But Christ is an endless source of life. He can enable us to continue in our service to him. Let us remain connected to him that we may be useful in the King’s service!

What We Can Learn From Arranged Marriages by Eric Geiger

 Here are two scenes of two twenty-five-year-old young men.

Scene one: A 25-year-old sits alone in his apartment, swiping through dating profiles on the phone. At it for an hour. The faces blur together. Split-second decisions are made based on photos and a few lines of bio. No one else is involved. No one else even knows. It’s just the person, the algorithm, and hundreds of strangers.

Scene two: A large family dinner in another culture and another time. Three generations are seated around the table. The conversation turns to the 25-year-old son. The grandmother mentions a young woman from a good family she knows. The father talks about the woman’s character—how she cares for her aging parents. The mother has observed how she treats children at community gatherings. The uncle knows her work ethic. Multiple perspectives. Generational wisdom. The family discusses who will approach her father.

The second scene sounds crazy in our individualistic culture, but which scene is new and which scene is more proven?

I have two daughters and have had zero conversations about arranging their marriages. I am also thankful that Kaye’s parents did not believe in arranged marriages, as they would not have arranged her marriage to me. That is not me being humble. The reality is that all her siblings live on her father’s property in their own homes on lots of family land. And I was a preacher who was open to going anywhere, so the land allotted for Kaye and me remains unused.

But we should understand that most research puts the divorce rate in the U.S. at 40% and the global divorce rate for arranged marriages at 1%. Why?

Those who advocate for arranged marriages point to the low divorce rates among arranged marriages. Divorce rates in the US are around 40% and arranged marriages globally have an often-cited divorce rate of 1%. Yes, there is a sad backstory to that stat. Not always, but in some cases, there is oppression, women are viewed as property, or the marriage is forced. As Christians, we are against that as we value women and men as image bearers. Not all arranged marriages are that way, and in arranged marriages where the divorce rate is low, sociologists point to the commitment from the families to each other and the mentoring the family provides.

In his insightful and research-based book Get Married, Brad Wilcox highlights Asian Americans as one of the groups he calls the “masters of marriage” because of their commitment to marriage through challenges and even seasons of “not being happy.” We have many Asian American couples in our church, so I loved reading Brad’s observations. One of the reasons their commitment to marriage is often higher is because of their commitment to community. The couples are not only thinking about themselves but also their kids, their immediate family, and their extended family. They have not bought the cultural lie that marriage is “just between us.” They realize that their marriage impacts a lot of other people.

The lesson is that we should date and be married in community. We should benefit from the wisdom of a God-honoring community, and we should remember that our marriages impact more people than the lie that it’s “just between us.”

These two Proverbs have always been and will always be true.

A fool’s way is right in his own eyes,
but whoever listens to counsel is wise.
(Proverbs 12:15)

Plans fail when there is no counsel,
but with many advisers they succeed.
(Proverbs 15:22)

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