Sex Education and the Marriage Bed as a Symbol by Wade Burleson

 "Marriage should be honored by among all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4).

U.S. Olympian Gwen Berry caused an uproar last week when she dishonored the American flag and the national anthem by turning her back on them and covering her head. Nobody notices disrespect for just any piece of cloth that has red, white, or blue stains, nor do people care if someone's head is covered when listening to any music. 

But when that piece of red, white, and blue cloth is formed into a flag that symbolizes the United States and when that music is the national anthem of the United States, then there is an expectation by U.S. citizens that people should honor the symbols of the United States because such honor shows respect for the nation.

Symbols have meaning.

Some Christians struggle to explain to other people why they believe sex outside of marriage is wrong.  The best answer to give is that God made sexual union in marriage a symbol of something else. 

God tells us to "honor the marriage bed" and to "flee sexual immorality" because of what those two things symbolize. 

Most people in the United States participate in sexual immorality and the dishonoring of the marriage bed. Even worse, when a person abstains from sex until marriage, that person is often looked upon as weird or abnormal. In our society, immorality is celebrated and abstinence is denigrated. But in reality, the person who honors the marriage bed is the one who is honoring God. We live in an upside-down world. 

Followers of Christ are to be people full of "grace and truth." We are to "speak the truth in love." Many appreciate receiving our love and our grace, but most don't appreciate hearing the truth. Unfortunately, they wrongly think truth-telling isn't loving. 

So, in love and grace for those who see sexual immorality as normal, I'd like to tell the truth about why sex should be reserved for the marriage bed.  We haven't done our children any favors by asking them to make promises of abstinence without ever giving them reasons for those promises. 

Here are two truths about sexual activity as a human being:

1. Waiting for marriage before participating in sex is symbolic of a person's trust in God.
2. Sex outside of covenant marriage is a picture of a person turning their back on God.

Throughout Scripture, God calls those who trust Him "the bride of Christ."  When the Apostle Paul referred to the marriage relationship, He compared it to the union between Christ and His people (Ephesians 5:23). 

The Bible teaches that God designed marriage and created the sexual union in marriage as a symbol of something eternal. Thus, we are called by God to honor the symbol (see Hebrews 13:4). It is similar to our expectation that the flag and national anthem will be honored at the Olympic trials as a sign of love for our country.

The sexual union between a man and a woman in marriage is a beautiful picture of our love for God and the joy of being in union with Christ. The marriage bed symbolizes our ecstasy when we reach the resurrection and see our Groom, face-to-face. Jesus will be our Source of life forever. 

The euphoria and ecstasy of being with Christ in the resurrection are symbolized on earth through the sexual union of the marriage bed. This sexual intimacy in the relationship between a husband and wife is designed by God to only be a picture of the joy of knowing Jesus Christ and being in union with Him for eternity.

There is an easy way to prove that the sexual union between husband and wife is a picture of something else.

When the reality is present, there's no longer need for a picture.
I was a wrangler in Colorado and would alternate taking people to the top of two majestic mountains, Mt. Antero and Mt. Princeton, and prepare breakfast for them. How silly would it have been for the people who went with me to the top of the mountains to sit down smack dab in the middle of a 360 panoramic view of the Rockies and pull out pictures of the views from the top of the mountains and focus on the pictures? It would have been ridiculous. You don't need pictures when you are on top of the mountains and can look at the real thing that the pictures represent.

Jesus said, "During the resurrection (heaven), people will not marry nor will they be given in marriage" (Matthew 22:30).

I've heard some people with great marriages get upset with the fact that they won't be married in heaven. Relax. Your best friend here will be your best friend there. What Jesus is saying is that there is no sexual activity in heaven, no sexual union in marriage in heaven, no procreation in heaven. Just like the angels don't procreate, human beings with the gift of life eternal will not procreate. 

There is no need for the symbol of marriage anymore. There is no marriage or giving in marriage in heaven because there is no need for the symbol or the picture when the reality is present.

The euphoria and ecstasy that the marriage bed symbolizes will be enjoyed through the feelings we have of being united with Christ in a world He's prepared for us in the resurrection. The sexual union within the context of marriage symbolizes our eternal union with Christ.

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Whether you are single, widowed, divorced, never married, or in a bad marriage, the essence of who you are as a person is found in your union with Christ. The flag may be desecrated, but the nation remains. The picture frame may break, or the picture itself may be destroyed, but the reality of what marriage represents cannot be destroyed. Singles, don't let anybody tell you that you are "missing out" by not being married. Look them square in the eye and tell them you have the reality of what their marriage represents. 

You have a union with your covenant God through faith in His Son. When we enjoy Him in this life and rest in Him as our Source of life, we live this life properly and meaningfully.

The story goes of a single woman named Miss Agdala, who asked her celibate Catholic priest how he could refrain from sex, particularly as he was surrounded daily by single, beautiful women. Father Smith answered:

"Women’s bodies are rarely perfect; they soon grow old and sag, and always the contemplation of them even at their best is a poor and boring substitute for walking with God in His House as a friend.”

Miss Agdala made the judgment that her priest's answer proved what she had always maintained about Christianity. "Religion is only a substitute for sex," she said.

Father Smith smiled and countered, “I believe that sex is a substitute for religion and that the young man who rings the bell at the brothel is unconsciously looking for God.”

The priest is on to something. Men and women are empty without God. A person living in sexual immorality attempts to fill that emptiness without looking to God as the Source of his life.

Since God designed marriage to be a symbol or picture of the union that people can have with Him, when a person moves into sexual activity outside of marriage, it pictures seeking the pleasures of other idols and turning away from joy that comes from our union with Jesus Christ.

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you” (I Corinthians 6:18-19).

The argument against sexual sins outside of marriage is that you are to be in union with God. If you unite yourself sexually with someone other than your spouse, you symbolize an abandonment of your union with God. 

The sin of sexual activity outside of marriage is spiritual.

Anybody who tries to tell you that sex outside of marriage is not physically pleasurable is lying. The act of sex is always pleasurable; that's why people are addicted to it. What those people who go after sex outside of the marriage bed forget is that sex is but a symbol of something greater.  

The person who looks to sexual activity as a goal has forgotten that there is a God. Only He can feel the empty soul with joy, purpose, and meaning.

Sexual sins are symptoms, not the disease. The disease of the sexual addict is a lack of enjoying a union with God. The symptom of this spiritual disease is to look for sex as the goal. Or, to put it in biblical language, "the sex addict begins to worship the thing created rather than the Creator" (see Romans 1).

“For fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).

God is not judging people for participating in the act of sex. God created sex. Sex is a beautiful and sacred act.

God judges fornicators and adulterers because the person who pursues sex outside of the context of marriage is not seeking union with God through faith in Jesus Christ. 

Again, it’s not the act of sex that is judged. It’s not the enjoyment of the act of sex that is judged. It is the person's worship of the creation rather than the Creator that is being judged.

In time, the beautiful skin of your sexual partner will wrinkle. In time, the ability for sexual intimacy may even fade due to age or illness. In time, you may find that enjoying the symbol God created to remind you of the joy of knowing Him is impossible.

But if you're worshiping the reality and not the symbol, you are a whole human being with a healthy understanding of sexuality.

I think Beth Moore is the one who said, "There is no high like the Most High." The person enjoying their union with God will have no problem honoring the symbol of the marriage bed or abstaining from sex if not married.

It makes zero sense to condemn the world for their sexual immorality. They have no concept that sex is a picture of something greater.  But it makes perfect sense to request taxpayer-funded institutions to refrain from indoctrinating our children and grandchildren with a standard of morality that dishonors the marriage bed. 

Next time someone pressures you to have sex outside the confines of marriage, feel free to say no to that person in this manner:

"I find you attractive. I am sure I would enjoy having sex with you. However, sex is a symbol of my covenant relationship with God. I am united with Him. He has pledged His fidelity to me. He loves me. He cares for me. I am going to wait for sex until marriage because I wish to honor the symbol He has given me of my relationship with Him. To have sex with you now is to symbolically turn my back on my union with Christ as the Source of my life. I will not trample on the symbol God has given me of my union Him. Thank you for understanding my respect and honor of the marriage bed. ."

That is living the life God intended. You will be honoring the marriage bed that God created as a symbol of something spiritual and eternal.