The Alabama Baptist recently did some feature articles on Parenting: A look at shame vs grace-based styles. In the article, there was a comparison of words from "Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame" that I thought was helpful:
Shame-Laden Words are the first example and Shame-Resilent Words are the second example:
"You make me so angry."
"I feel angry that you...."
"Why do you always leave your dirty clothes on the floor? or "You never listen to me."
Instead of an absolute statement, point out the specific behavior. "It looks like you left your dirty clothes on the floor again" or "It seems you're having a hard time listening to me lately."
Anything sarcastic
Be truthful about how you feel about what they did or say nothing.
"I can't believe you broke curfew again."
"This is the second time this month that you've broken curfew. What's going on?
"Don't you know better?"
"It's frustrating to me that you keep doing what I've asked you not to do. Why do you think that is?"
"Don't act like a baby."
Bite your tongue and say nothing at all.
"You are a mess."
"You made a mess. Will you help me clean it up?
Additional resources recommended included:
Grace that Breaks the Chains by Neil T. Anderson, Rich Miller, Paul Travis
Unashamed: Drop the Baggage, Pick up Your Freedom, Fulfill Your Destiny by Christine Caine
Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection by Edward T. Welch
Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame by Heather Davis Nelson
Families Where Grace Is in Place by Jeff VanVonderen
No comments:
Post a Comment